Tortoise and the Hare
by blackdragonflower
Summary: Dear Lightning, here is a weird journal entry about a strange book that is FALSE! I tell you it's false! Some book called Tortoise and the Hare. Lightning, is it strange that I'm a grown man writing in a diary? -Straight Cougar Slight CouxMim


Tortoise and the Hare by blackdragonflower

Summary: Dear Lightning, here is a weird journal entry about a strange book that is FALSE! I tell you it's false! Some book called Tortoise and the Hare. Lightning, is it strange that I'm a grown man writing in a diary? -Straight Cougar Slight hint CougarxMimori

Characters belong to Sunrise Inc. / Tortoise and the Hare belongs to whoever owns it.

Warning: Uh... attempts at humor written by a weird chick at 3 something in the morning who really should have been in bed.

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Dear Lightning,

I can't believe it! This was the wierdest and most strange book that I, Straight Cougar, have ever read! It was very fictional and the ending is not even possible! The tortoise could never beat the hare in a race it's impossible! No! No! NO! I refuse to accept the outcome of this story! I refuse!

Well, thinking about the circumstances of this fictional story it may have been slightly possible, _slightly_ I say! I however don't think it's possible... but that may just be my wish and if a man wishes hard enough he could make his dreams come true! My dream is for the lovely princess Miss Mimori to know how much I love her and for us to get married and have children and... and...

Oh... blushing Seems I got a bit carried away there. Sorry Lightning! Now where was I? Ah yes. I must hurry and finish writing this because speed is of the essence and boy how I love speed, speed, SPEED! Plus knowing Commander Ziggy he probably has some random assignment in store for me right about now. Also knowing Commander Ziggy it probably requires me to sit still and be _patient_! Why does he assign me to missions like this when he knows they are not my strong suit? Elian is better suited to missions like that but I think the commander doesn't send the quiet boy because he likes the kid and doesn't want to see him hurt.

Am I the only one who noticed that about Commander Ziggy and Elian? Is there something there that I should be aware of Lightning? GASP! You don't think Commander Ziggy has a thing for little boys do you?! No wait... that doesn't seem right. Commander Ziggy is strange but not that strange! However that doesn't explain why he keeps his office space so dark... How can he see anything in that dark room. Maybe he should brighten up the place or something like that. Yeah, that'd be good his office is really depressing looking Lightning it makes me feel blue and that's no good!

I think it's very clever that I disguised you like a book and put a cute little apple on the cover and everything! So I can read you whenever I want or write random stuff or go on rants like this one right here! Boy I sure am writing a lot don't you agree Lightning?!

I feel like I'm forgetting something very very important Lightning... I'll go back and skim through this entry... Okay done! Ha! That's what I forgot! I forgot how silly this book called the Tortoise and the Hare is! I thought hares were supposed to be smart and fast, fast and smart but the hare in this story is really neither. Well, he is fast but he still lost to the tortoise because he slacked off and slacking off is not good but I suppose I shouldn't be saying anything because Commander Ziggy is always warning me about my slacking off when I'm suppose to be on duty! Ahaha! I should go for a run this afternoon and shrink the world again!

Hopefully I don't shrink it too much like when I busted Miss Mimori from her prison cell at HOLY! That was a major boo boo and I got in big trouble for it! Most importantly I wasn't caught because I was just too fast because I'm the fastest man on the planet! Plus I have the hottest accessories around! I love my hot pink shades and my fast car that's made for speed, speed, and more speed! Haha... I asked Miss Mimori this but she didn't really answer so I'll ask you instead.

Hey what's up homie-G? Everybody's saying it in the city these days... Is it down? Is it dope? Or is it just plain whack? Ah I love life it's so beautiful and wonderful and so full of joy!

Oh well gotta go be like the hare and skeedaddle! Talk to you later Lightning Commander Ziggy needs me for something and you know if I don't show up as soon as possible he'll get mad and it's not good to get the commander mad, so bye!

Fastest man on the planet,

_Straight Cougar_

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**A/N: bursts out laughing Yes... his diary is named Lightning. I hope you like the name as much as I do. Please forgive me as this story was written at exactly 3:42 in the morning and all I was running on was a 2 liter bottle of Coca-Cola, anime Peacemaker and Death Note, and granola (don't ask). Usually by this time in the morning I am conked out and dead; yeah, deader than the wax dummy hit by a two-floor tour bus whose horn is the llama song (or possibly some random song about chocolate you take your pick). It's actually pretty bad when the comment written is about as long as the story... Heh...**

**That homie-G line actually comes from the anime I think around episode 14(?). It's one of my favorite lines in the show. **_**Then again Cougar is one of my favorite characters along with Commander Martin Zigmarl, clone boy Elian (who is the top fav! He needs some love people!), and Kyoji Mujo (Yes I like the crazy dude with major problems. Hee hee.)**_

**So anyways. Despite how random this story may be I hope you enjoyed it and got a good laugh!**

**Please leave me comments and favs. They are much appreciated and loved.**

**blackdragonflower**

**Oh... and to xxdemonchild. (Inside joke) -- take a wild guess what this is... ;3 **


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